Fri. Jun 21st 5:00am
GIVE ME LAND, LOTS OF LAND
GIVE ME LAND, LOTS OF LAND: Lisa is against buying neighboring property owned by the Watsons until she see their farmhouse. Thinking the house is part of the deal, Lisa sells the Watsons' furniture to Mr. Haney and has their things brought over. All of this happens while Oliver is in New York arranging the financing.
Fri. Jun 21st 5:30am
I DIDN’T RAISE MY HUSBAND TO BE
I DIDN’T RAISE MY HUSBAND TO BE: Oliver is allowed to join the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department if he'll play an instrument in their marching band. As Chief Joe Carson explains, they have more parades than fires. Patiotic speeches follow as Oliver takes his new duties very seriously.
Mon. Jun 24th 5:00am
LISA BAKES A CAKE
LISA BAKES A CAKE: Oliver's upset that Lisa listed him the new phone directory as an attorney. He fears he'll be flooded with calls wanting his legal advice. Instead, lawyer Douglas becomes cranky when his phone doesn't ring. Meanwhile, Lisa tackles a formidable task in the kitchen: baking a cake. When Oliver finally gets a potential client, the unlucky man encounters Ralph's plank, Lisa's 20-pound pound cake and Haney's truck.
Mon. Jun 24th 5:30am
SPRAINED ANKLE, COUNTRY STYLE
SPRAINED ANKLE, COUNTRY STYLE: While fixing the TV antenna, Oliver falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. A parade of Hooterville residents shows up to give their regards while he's off his feet, but instead of sharing the food they've made for him, they crowd him off his own bed to watch Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins on television.
Tue. Jun 25th 5:00am
THE PRICE OF APPLES
THE PRICE OF APPLES: Oliver will make considerable more on his apple crop if he gets his to market first. He hires local highschoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety truck suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's hotscakes come to the rescue.
Tue. Jun 25th 5:30am
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
WHAT’S IN A NAME?: Ralph Monroe finds herself smitten with Hank Kimball, but discovers that he won't date a woman with a man's name. She asks Oliver to file court papers to have her name changed to something more feminine. While in court, Oliver learns that his license to practice law is not recognized by the state. This sends Oliver back to the books to study for the state's bar exam.
Wed. Jun 26th 5:00am
THE DAY OF DECISION
THE DAY OF DECISION: Lisa agreed to try out Green Acres for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and Haney's lousy products.
Wed. Jun 26th 5:30am
A PIG IN A POKE
A PIG IN A POKE: Oliver is invited to New York to be the guest speaker at a Harvard alumni banquet but he arrives with an unexpected stowaway. Meanwhile, the Ziffels fear that they'll lose Arnold to Mr. Haney, who's trying to take the pig in lieu of a debt that he claims the Ziffels owe him.
Thu. Jun 27th 5:00am
THE BALLAD OF MOLLY TURGISS
THE BALLAD OF MOLLY TURGISS: Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgis, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.
Thu. Jun 27th 5:30am
THE DEPUTY
THE DEPUTY: Sam Drucker's off for a two-week vacation to visit his sister, leaving Oliver to take over his duties as deputy sheriff. Complications ensue when Oliver demonstrates how to use a pair of handcuffs to Lisa before discovering that he's lost the keys.
Fri. Jun 28th 5:00am
DOUBLE DRICK
DOUBLE DRICK: Tired of repairing the rickety generator that Haney sold him, Oliver checks on the status of his electricity. Learning that his application was never mailed, Oliver decides to deal with the power company in person. He finds that nothing in Hooterville is done simply--or correctly; he ends up with a meter that runs even when it's disconnected and another pole by the bedroom window.
Fri. Jun 28th 5:30am
SEND A BOY TO COLLEGE
SEND A BOY TO COLLEGE: Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversite.
Sat. Jun 29th 1:00pm
WON’T YOU COME HOME, ARNOLD ZIFFEL?
WON’T YOU COME HOME, ARNOLD ZIFFEL?: With Doris out of town, Fred looks after Arnold by himself. When Arnold sees an advertisement for free movies and ice cream, he goes to Pixley. Lisa is convinced he's been pig-napped, so they all go on a search that leads them to a packing house.
Sat. Jun 29th 1:30pm
JEALOUSY, ENGLISH STYLE
JEALOUSY, ENGLISH STYLE: Over Lisa's objections, Oliver plans on attending a farm symposium alone. To watch over her, he hires a charming young British man as a temporary farm hand. Determined to go along, Lisa plots to make Oliver so jealous of the handsome help that he wouldn't dare leave her behind.
Mon. Jul 1st 7:00am
NEVER LOOK A GIFT TRACTOR IN THE MOUTH
NEVER LOOK A GIFT TRACTOR IN THE MOUTH: Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it as a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.
Mon. Jul 1st 7:30am
HORSE? WHAT HORSE?
HORSE? WHAT HORSE?: Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.
Tue. Jul 2nd 7:00am
CULTURE
CULTURE: The "Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club" decides to bring culture to the valley by starting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra. Oliver calls the women "nuts" for considering such a ridiculous idea. Undeterred, Lisa calls her conductor friend Sir Geffory, aka "Poopsie", to come and conduct the orchestra. What he encounters is the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Marching Band playing the only song they know.
Tue. Jul 2nd 7:30am
THE RAINS CAME
THE RAINS CAME: A drought in Hooterville has crops wilting in the fields. Oliver is so desperate, he agrees to pay Haney $350 if he can bring some relief. That's when Haney presents dancing Chief Thundercloud. When the rains eventually arrive, Oliver refuses to pay. He says the Chief's dancing is not what did the trick.
Wed. Jul 3rd 7:00am
UNCLE OLLIE
UNCLE OLLIE: Oliver's groovy nephew arrives in Hooterville on his motorcycle with long hair, hip lingo and no interest in work. Chuck is excellent with motors, however, and proceeds to "soup up" all the vehicles in the valley. The easily influenced Eb is quick to decide he wants to be a beatnick.
Wed. Jul 3rd 7:30am
WINGS OVER HOOTERVILLE
WINGS OVER HOOTERVILLE: Oliver's groovy nephew arrives in Hooterville on his motorcycle with long hair, hip lingo and no interest in work. Chuck is excellent with motors, however, and proceeds to "soup up" all the vehicles in the valley. The easily influenced Eb is quick to decide he wants to be a beatnick.
Thu. Jul 4th 7:00am
THE UGLY DUCKLING
THE UGLY DUCKLING: Ralph is devastated when her true love, Hank Kimball, stands her up on another date. Lisa's solution is make Ralph more feminine. While she works at the mammoth task, Oliver is forced to sleep in the barn with Eb. Later, the "new" Ralph, complete with false eyelashes that stick together, is presented to the unsuspecting Mr. Kimball.
Thu. Jul 4th 7:30am
WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE
WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE: Short on water, Mr. Haney contracts Willie the Well-Witcher to find a new spot to dig a well. But once Mr. Haney gets water, the Douglases lose theirs. After Willie witches a new well for Oliver, the Ziffles' water dries up. After a few more rounds of this, Oliver suggests the valley get its water from a reservior. That idea sounds great, until the switches are thrown.
Fri. Jul 5th 7:00am
HOW TO SEE SOUTH AMERICA BY BUS
HOW TO SEE SOUTH AMERICA BY BUS: A lovely young female farmer comes to Oliver for his professional help. He's glad to oblige, especially when he learns that she can cook. Lisa first becomes jealous of the time the two spend together. Then she becomes convinced they're having an affair, especially after overhearing Mrs. Ziffel describing the plot on her favorite soap opera.
Fri. Jul 5th 7:30am
ONE OF OUR ASSEMBLYMEN IS MISSING
ONE OF OUR ASSEMBLYMEN IS MISSING: Oliver's back on his soap box, delivering fiery patriotic speeches after getting a bill for the State Farm Unattached Duty Tax. No one in Hooterville seems to know what the tax is for, so Oliver tries to contact his assemblyman. That's when he learns Hooterville hasn't held an election for one since 1922. He and Lisa travel to the state capital to meet the governor and remedy the situation.
Mon. Jul 8th 7:00am
THE GOOD OLD DAYS
THE GOOD OLD DAYS: Oliver describes to Lisa the book he's reading, hoping she'll have a greater appreciation of being a farm wife. Set on the frontier in 1887, poor farmer Gus Thompson and his mail-order bride Etta clear the land, start a farm from scratch, and have 25 children.
Mon. Jul 8th 7:30am
EB DISCOVERSTHE BIRDS AND THE BEES
EB DISCOVERSTHE BIRDS AND THE BEES: Eb is suddenly smitten with with Betty Jo Bradley and asks Oliver for some fatherly advice on romance. Recalling how his first evening out with Lisa cost him a fortune, Oliver advises Eb to make all of their evening's plans. That's just what Eb does--incorrectly--causing Billy Jo to cancel their date.
Tue. Jul 9th 7:00am
THE HOOTERVILLE IMAGE
THE HOOTERVILLE IMAGE: The Hooterville farmers have decided that Oliver is ruining the town's image by doing his farming chores in a suit. Oliver eventually gives in to their demand to wear overalls, but they weren't planning on the fur-covered pair that Lisa's dressmaker has designed.
Tue. Jul 9th 7:30am
YOU OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES
YOU OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES: James Stuart from the agricultural department wants to do a film on the pitfalls of new farmers. The locals think "Jimmy Stewart" is coming to make a big Hollywood movie so they all enroll in Haney's acting school. In the meantime, Oliver's farming practices prove especially embarrassing for the camera.
Wed. Jul 10th 7:00am
A HOME ISN’T BUILT INA DAY
A HOME ISN’T BUILT INA DAY: Tired of living in a dump, Lisa demands some serious home improvements. Oliver fires the Monroe brothers and hires an architect to draw up plans. Renovations come to a screeching halt thanks to the Monroes' picket line and famous Hootervillian Rutherford B. Skrug.
Wed. Jul 10th 7:30am
A SQUARE IS NOT ROUND
A SQUARE IS NOT ROUND: The Douglases try to determine which of their hens is laying square eggs. Once word gets out, Haney and a chicken breeder both want in on the action. Oddly, the cube-shaped eggs don't worry Oliver nearly as much as their toaster that operates when you say the number "five".
Thu. Jul 11th 7:00am
IT’S SO PEACEFUL IN THE COUNTRY
IT’S SO PEACEFUL IN THE COUNTRY: Oliver's mother needs bed rest so what better place than her son's farm. All she has to do is ignore Alf and Ralph's drilling, Haney's tour group, a group of dancing Sioux Indians and their chief who think's she's a looker.
Thu. Jul 11th 7:30am
AN OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS
AN OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS: Sam Drucker is selling artificial Christmas trees that squirt "genuine spruce spray" from the top and ooze fake sap from the trunk. Oliver is horrified; he wants an old fashioned Christmas with a real tree, but first he must get a permit from Mr. Kimball to chop one down. After decorating a real tree on Christmas Eve, the neighbors drop by the Douglases for an evening of songs and Lisa's hotscake "fruitscake".
Fri. Jul 12th 7:00am
HIS HONOR
HIS HONOR: Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.
Fri. Jul 12th 7:30am
NEVER TRUST A LITTLE OLD LADY
NEVER TRUST A LITTLE OLD LADY: It's tomato planting season and Oliver needs some useful weather information. Hooterville relies on WPIXL-TV's Mildred, a little old lady who prances out of her dollhouse, or Walter, the singing weatherman. Both are constantly wrong so Oliver contacts the Weather Bureau which predicts warm days and nights. With the plants in the ground, Hooterville suffers the coldest night of the year. Incredibly, it's Lisa's crepe suzettes that save the crop from the cold.
Mon. Jul 15th 7:00am
SCHOOL DAYS
SCHOOL DAYS: Oliver spends a lot of time in the principal's office when Lisa enrolls at Hooterville High. In school primarily for a cooking course, she also disrupts history class with her own version of Hungary's past, distroys the womens' showers and explodes a chemistry lab.
Mon. Jul 15th 7:30am
EXODUS TO BLEEDSWELL
EXODUS TO BLEEDSWELL: The residents of Hooterville flock to nearby Bleedswell for jobs at the new defense plant. To keep people from leaving, Hooterville reopens its old airplane factory to fulfill its contract with the Army--signed during WWI.
Tue. Jul 16th 7:00am
IT’S HUMAN TO BE HUMANE
IT’S HUMAN TO BE HUMANE: Bored and looking for a project, Lisa becomes the head of the "Hooterville Human Humane Committee". She takes her cause to the extreme, declaring everything from duck hunting to selling chicken eggs off limits. Soon, the Douglases house is a zoo and the locals are ready to run her out of town.
Tue. Jul 16th 7:30am
NEVER TAKE YOUR WIFE TO A CONVENTION
NEVER TAKE YOUR WIFE TO A CONVENTION: The only thing Oliver learns at a farming convention is how to get a hangover. He and Lisa meet up with Charlie, a former gangster-turned-farmer, and Wanda, his floozy dancer wife. The more Charlie talks about his farm, the more Oliver's convinced that his shady days are not in the past.
Tue. Jul 16th 10:00am
OLIVER GOES BROKE
OLIVER GOES BROKE: After saying good-bye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. When Haney spots her applying at the County Welfare office, he assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced "dumb dumb" Oliver has lost his money and sent his wife out to find a job.
Tue. Jul 16th 10:30am
APPLE PICKING TIME
APPLE PICKING TIME: Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
Wed. Jul 17th 7:00am
NEVER START TALKING UNTIL YOUR VOICE
NEVER START TALKING UNTIL YOUR VOICE: Oliver has to choose between being a farmer or lawyer when he gets an offer to practice in Washington, D. C. The official-looking letter, however, has the locals convinced that Oliver is hiding an juicy secret from them. After ruling out tax cheat and counterfeiter, that leaves only one choice: CIA agent.
Wed. Jul 17th 7:30am
THE COMPUTER AGE
THE COMPUTER AGE: A desperate Ralph Monroe joins a computer dating service to meet a husband. Oliver thinks it's a great idea since computers are always right. Lisa thinks they can't possibly take the place of romance, so she challenges Oliver to test their match-up on the electric brain.
Thu. Jul 18th 7:00am
THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: When the cast takes ill, the Douglases take to the stage in a charity production of The Beverly Hillbillies. After Eb "punches up" a script from the series, Hank Kimball plays Jed Clampett, Oliver appears as Jethro and Lisa portrays Granny with a combination Hungarian/southern accent.
Thu. Jul 18th 7:30am
LISA’S VEGETABLE GARDEN
LISA’S VEGETABLE GARDEN: According to Oliver, every farm wife should be growing her own vegetables so Lisa starts her own garden. Armed with useless pamphlets from Mr. Kimball and a flask of perfume, Lisa begins work. It's hardly a money-saving proposition after she buys a tractor, farm supplies, and hires Alf and Ralph as her housekeepers.
Thu. Jul 18th 10:00am
ENTERPRISING EB
ENTERPRISING EB: Eb learns that $538 is not enough to build a house on the two acres the Douglases gave him and Darlene. His schemes to raise a down payment include turning the the Douglas farm into a bed and breakfast, a dump, and a trailer camp.
Fri. Jul 19th 7:00am
THE SAUCER SEASON
THE SAUCER SEASON: Once Eb's wild story about meeting space aliens hits the press, tourists descend on the Douglas farm to meet the new celebrity. Oliver's more concerned about the crowd trampling his crops, but the Air Force takes his claim seriously...at first.
Fri. Jul 19th 7:30am
THE VULGAR RING STORY
THE VULGAR RING STORY: Lisa says that woman in her family must marry an American every fourth generation to keep the huge ring she now wears. She regales Hooterville with the story of her great, great grandmother, the Queen of the Gypsies, and her courtship of an American artist, Cornelius. Much stealing and dancing is involved.
Sat. Jul 20th 1:00pm
OLIVER’S DOUBLE
OLIVER’S DOUBLE: A bank robber hiding out in Pixley is an Oliver Douglas look-alike. When Eb spots the crook kissing his moll, he accuses Oliver of cheating on "Mom". Things get more confusing when Oliver's hauled in on suspicion of being the holdup man.
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